Breaking the Cycle: Binge Eating Disorder Recovery in Spencerport, NY
When you think of issues that people struggle with that might cause them shame, you might list things like porn addiction, gambling, sex addiction, hoarding. But less often do you hear about people who struggle with binge eating. If you struggle with this, you know that shame is always involved. And it’s irrelevant if your body is bigger or smaller or in between, the fact that you feel out of control and that you think this will never stop – that this is your life – makes you feel ashamed and fearful and hopeless.
One of the toughest parts of struggling with binge eating, is the feeling that you’ll never get out of this cycle. And as a therapist, I find it frustrating when doctors are quick to throw pills at people to get rid of their appetites. Binge eating is not about hunger. When I struggled with binge eating in the past, it wasn’t because I was hungry. It wasn’t because there were cookies available. It was because I was dealing with stuff and I was using food as a way to cope. Throwing medicine at it is actually worse because it makes the distance between ourselves and our bodies even greater. When you struggle with any kind of eating disorder, including Binge Eating Disorder, or even if you don’t have a diagnosis, just binge eating, there is a disconnect between yourself and your body, between yourself and food, and movement and exercise and relationships. Issues regarding food and the body are always connected to disconnection.
So here are three things to consider trying on your journey towards breaking this cycle of binge eating. First, and this will sound very counterintuitive, stop restricting. When you tell yourself that you can’t have those cookies, you’re gonna want those cookies. It’s fear of losing control of ourselves that causes us to not want to eat it. The more that we tell ourselves we’re not allowed, the more we feel that draw to eat it. And when we deny ourselves, it sets us up for a binge. I’m guessing you’re wondering how to implement that, when you might feel like letting yourself have the food is gonna cause you to binge more. Try it in coordination with the next couple of things.
Second, eat your regular meals at regular times. That means your breakfast should NOT be at 4 PM. I want you to think about how that would work logically. You don’t eat until 4 PM and then at 4 PM you have lunch or dinner or whatever, and you just keep eating. Of course you do! Your body is freaking starving! It’s a normal response to want to eat more when your body feels like it’s been starved. So, you need to eat breakfast, you need to eat lunch, you need to eat dinner. And also, you might want to consider if you need snacks in between. Again, do this in coordination with the first and the final idea below.
Third, learn what a healthy portion looks like for you (PS: I don’t recommend seeing a dietician UNLESS they are eating disorder informed). I’m giving you this as a loose guideline. I don’t want you to treat it as a diet. I am not encouraging dieting. What I’m saying is that sometimes part of binging or part of over eating at least, can be that we don’t know what’s an appropriate size for us. So if I think that three meals at McDonald’s or Taco Bell or wherever, is the appropriate portion for dinner, I’d be incorrect and ignorant of what my body actually requires. Again, I’m not encouraging you to diet. I’m trying to help you understand that education can be so empowering. Now, if you have struggled with something like anorexia or bulimia, I would encourage you to stop here and to get support from an eating disorder specialist who specializes in your particular issue. These recommendations are ONLY for those who struggle with binge eating/overeating. So my point about portions is this: When we learn about food – what it does and how it nourishes us, and our focus is not on weight loss, we become free to take or leave that Oreo. When we focus on our behaviors instead of our bodies, and how we can have a healthy relationship with all different kinds of foods, incorporating all different kinds of foods, we are making peace with food. I can go to a Super Bowl party and not feel uncomfortable being near the pizza and wings table, and I can partake with no guilt.
Finally, no matter what you struggle with in regards to food and body, I absolutely recommend seeing someone who specializes in that – getting professional support. I would love to see you, but I want you to find someone that you really connect with, and who you feel safe and at home with in their office, and in doing this intimate work together. When you struggle with something like shame and disconnection from your body and from people in your life, it’s so important that you get the support you need, and that you work with people who are very encouraging and loving and gentle. My best to you, my friends.
You got this.
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Clinician Bio
As a Licensed Mental Health Counselor, National Certified Counselor, and owner of Beyond Sessions Mental Health Counseling Services PLLC, I help people at any stage in life conquer their issues with binge eating. Specializing in Adulting, ADHD, Binge Eating, Self-Esteem/Assertiveness, Tech/Phone Addiction, and Christian Counseling, I partner with adults of all age who feel overwhelmed and are looking for freedom and empowerment. Whether we meet in person at my Spencerport, NY office or connect online throughout New York State, my goal is to help you gain control of what is yours to steward, to equip you with practical coping skills, and to witness you finally step into your genuine self.