Navigating “Adulting” in Monroe County: When Life Transitions Feel Overwhelming
Sometimes it feels like life transitions are constant. Once you get the hang of something, it’s time to move on to something new. This can feel very overwhelming at times and can leave you feeling like you’re never gonna be great at anything. When you’re a kid, it happens with elementary school, puberty, middle school, high school. But one of the toughest transitions is from teenager to adult. Even when you move from young adult to fully established adult. I know what I’m talking about. I had to do this. It was freakin’ hard. But the good news is all of these transitions are healthy and necessary for you to become a fully functioning, balanced, grounded adult. Not only that, but as fun as childhood is and as scary as responsibilities can be, being a grown-up making your own choices, having a wonderful, healthy relationship with a spouse and kids, a satisfying career are all really enriching experiences that can make your life a happy one.
People – this is navigatable. The first thing you can do is find support. If you look around you’ll see lots of adults who’ve been through this. Consider finding a healthy, well established person you admire who could be a kind of unofficial mentor. Spend time with them, ask them questions about adulting, look at them as a model of what you might like to be like. There’s also lots of adults who’ve been through it poorly, so be careful who we choose. If you follow the wrong person, you can follow them right into a bad situation. You want to find someone who has a legitimate job, who is responsible, who is someone you’d be proud to introduce to your parents and friends (kinda like a partner – but that’ll be for another blog post). This could be a parent, a sibling, a teacher, a coworker, but it needs to be somebody who is doing good things in the right way, and is not going to mislead you or mistreat you.
Second, make a list of the top five most important things that you’d like to do or experience in adulthood. This could be find a full-time job. It could be finding housing apart from your parents. It could be that you’re ready for a romantic relationship. And make a list of these things. This is more for you to have an eye on your long-term goals than to make you feel badly that you haven’t yet gotten these. Once you choose your goals, keep them up somewhere. Put them in front of your eyes: above your desk, on your mirror, wherever you will see them regularly. You can even make a dream board of pictures of things that represent these goals, to help them remain your focus. Then, take one of those and break it down into 5 to 10 small steps. For example: How can I move out of my parents’ house? Consider what you might need to do: like make a budget, discover what apartments cost, save up money (specific amount based on what you learn). With a bunch of small steps, you feel a whole lot better making a big leap.
And finally for your third step, why not seek out professional support? As a mental health therapist, I specialize in working with people who are making this adulting transition. And that could mean you’re doing it at 18 or at 30. Some people take a while to really learn how to get established on their own path. Seeking out professional support can be a real help in all of these areas: in breaking down small steps, in finding a healthy mentor, etc. And it doesn’t have to be me if I’m not a good fit for you. When you meet a counselor, you want to find someone you feel safe with, you feel gets you, and you would feel comfortable talking about all your stuff with. So as you try to figure out your next steps, consider these three potential options of how you could begin that journey. I would love to be a part of that, but either way…my best to you!
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Clinician Bio
As a Licensed Mental Health Counselor, National Certified Counselor, and owner of Beyond Sessions Mental Health Counseling Services PLLC, I help young adults step out of self-doubt and confidently take ownership of their lives. Specializing in Adulting, ADHD, Binge Eating, Self-Esteem/Assertiveness, Tech/Phone Addiction, and Christian Counseling, I partner with adults of all ages who feel overwhelmed and are looking for freedom and empowerment. Whether we meet in person at my Spencerport, NY office or connect online throughout New York State, my goal is to help you gain a genuine sense of control, practical coping skills, and the independent confidence you need to build a healthy, satisfying life and thrive.